counter stats Scamming the scammers: Dr. Koffi John - Rays Crab Shack

Scamming the scammers

Scambaiting - The only sport a true geek can win

Friday, January 06, 2006

Dr. Koffi John - Rays Crab Shack

Feb 6

FROM:DR.KOFFI JOHN.

THE DIRECTOR AUDIT

AND ACCOUNTS UNIT

IN U/T/B UNION TOGOLAISE DE BANK

20 REU DE COMMERCE

LOME REPUBLIC OF TOGO.

DEAR,

WITH DUE HONOUR AND RESPECT,I AM DR.KOFFI JOHN,THE DIRECTOR IN CHARGE OF AUDIT AND ACCOUNTS UNIT DEPT OF UNION TOGOLAISE DE BANK, LOME-TOGO IN WEST AFRICA.

I GOT YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS RECOMMENDED BY A FRIEND WORKING WITH TOGOLAISE CHAMBER OF COMMERCE, AND I DECIDED TO CONTACT YOU FOR BENEFICIAL AND A 100% RISK FREE BUSINESS TRANSACTION.

DURING OUR AUDITING AND INVESTIGATIONS IN THIS BANK,MY DEPARTMENT CAME ACROSS THE SUM OF ELEVEN MILLION FIVE HUNDRED UNITED STATES DOLLARS(US$11,500,000)ONLY BELONGING TO OUR INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS MAN WHO DIED

ALONG WITH HIS FAMILY(NEXT OF KIN)IN THE 5TH NOVEMBER,1997 AEROPLANE CRASH IN ABIDJAN.

BEFORE OUR DISCOVERY OF THIS DEVELOPMENT,THERE WAS NO TRACE OF CLAIM FROM ANY PERSON AS THE FUND REMAINS DORMANT IN HIS ACCOUNT WITH THIS BANK. ALTHOUGH,I KEEP THIS INFORMATION SECRET WITHIN MY JURISDICTION TO ENABLE US PUT CLAIMS AND TRANSFER THE SAID AMOUNT THROUGH A TRUSTWORTHY FRIEND OVERSEAS WHOM WE SHALL PRESENT TO THE BANK AS THE BONAFIDE NEXT-OF-KIN TO THE DECEASED FOR A PROFITABLE AND SUCCESSFUL DEAL.

MEANWHILE,ALL THE ARRANGEMENTS TO PUT CLAIMS AS THE BONAFIDE NEXT-OF-KIN TO THE DECEASED,TO GET THE REQUIRED APPROVAL AND TRANSFER OF THIS MONEY TO A FOREIGN ACCOUNT HAS BEEN PUT IN PLACE.

THE DIRECTIVES AND THE NEEDED INFORMATION WILL BE RELAYED TO YOU AS SOON AS YOU INDICATE YOUR INTEREST AND WILLINGNESS TO BENEFIT YOURSELF FROM THIS GREAT BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY.

INFACT,WE COULD HAVE DONE THIS DEAL ALONE BUT BECAUSE AS WE ARE CIVIL SERVANTS WE ARE NOT LEGALLY ALLOWED TO OPERATE FOREIGN ACCOUNT AND IT WOULD EVENTUALLY RAISE AN EYEBROWS ON OUR SIDE DURING THE TIME OF TRANSFER BECAUSE WE ARE STAFFS IN THE BANK.

THESE ARE THE ACTUAL REASONS WHY IT REQUIRES A SECOND-FELLOW WHO WILL FORWARD APPLICATION OF CLAIMS TO THE BANK AND ALSO PRESENT A FO EIGN BANK ACCOUNT WHERE THE MONEY ON HIS/HER REQUEST WILL BE RE-TRANSFERED INTO.

ON CONCLUSION OF THIS TRANSACTION,YOU WILL BE ENTITLED TO 25% OF THE TOTAL SUM AS GRATIFICATION.5% OF THE TOTAL SUM WILL BE USED TO REINBURSE EXPENSES THAT MIGHT ARISE FROM TELEPHONE BILLS AND OTHER EXPENSES DURING THE TRANSACTION,WHILE 70% WILL BE FOR ME AND MY PARTNERS HERE.

PLEASE YOU HAVE BEEN ADVICED TO KEEP TOP SECRET AS WE ARE STILL IN SERVICE AND INTEND TO RETIRE FROM SERVICE AFTER WE CONCLUDE THIS DEAL WITH YOU.

I WILL BE MONITORING THE WHOLE SITUATION HERE IN THIS BANK UNTIL YOU CONFIRM THE MONEY IN YOUR ACCOUNT.WE THEN COME DOWN TO YOUR COUNTRY FOR SUBSEQUENT SHARING OF THE FUND ACCORDING TO THE PERCENTAGES PREVIOUSLY

INDICATED AND FOR INVESTMENT IN ANY COUNTRY YOU MAY ADVICE US TOO.

ALL OTHER NECESSARY INFORMATION WILL BE SENT TO YOU WHEN I HEAR FROM YOU. I SUGGEST YOU GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE,STATING YOUR WISH IN THIS DEAL.

YOURS FAITHFULLY,

DR.KOFFI JOHN.

Oh good, rich beyond my wildest dreams…no way this could be a scam, right?

_____________________________

Feb 6

Greetings Dr. Koffi John!
I received this email, and I must say that the 25% of $15 million US intrigues me. I could use the money for future investments. Allow me tell you a bit about myself and company.

My name is Ray Thull. I am married two a beatiful slut named Jaina, with two kids who I am not sure are mine. We have our returaunt chain, named “Rays Crab Shack”, where we specialized in roasted Mogwai, and serve the finest alchol. Last year, our profits in the Southeast district totalled at arouned $8 million US. We are always on the lookout for investment and earnings programs, and yours sounds scrumptious!

Back to business now. What information will you require? Please note that we have security measures in place for our online transactions, including password phrases to help maintain secure communication, as well as requiring official government ID scans to prove your identity. Please send an official ID, and we can begin this transaction.

Hopefully this will get me some trophies if I start off the bat.
Hope to hear from you soon.

———-

Ray Thull
Ray’s Crab Shack
Our slogan: “Its better to have crabs on your piano, than lobsters on your organ!”

———-

_____________________________

Feb 7

Dear Ray Thull,

I have noted your mail in good faith.Be informed that I have no interest on whatever you makes from your firm,I only want your assistance towards the realisation of this very project.

As you know,we have not met for the first time therefore,I would like to know a little about you as regards to your age as well as your occupation.

However,I would not hesitate to notify you that all the necessary details related to this deal has been taken to ensure a smooth and successful transfer of the fund to your designated bank account for our mutual benefit.

How considerate

Get back to me with the informations above as to enable us forge ahead.

Waiting for your response.

Dr.Koffi John

_____________________________

Feb 7

Dr.Koffi John,

As I mentioned in my first email, my name is Ray Thull. I am 58 years old, married with two kids who I am not sure are mine but it is possible. We have our returaunt chain, named “Rays Crab Shack”, where we specialized in roasted Mogwai, and serve the finest alchol. I am the owner of “Rays Crab Shack”, and sometimes when I am free from my duties I help prepare meals, our finest being what we call “The Schlong”. Basically, it is roasted Mogwai in an au jous sauce, sprinkled with garlic and onion, and server with a nice Bud.

Lets see how dumb he is…guess they dont have the word “Schlong” over there.

As instructed by my associate and co-oweners, we are always concerned with security, and have the following measures in place. Conditions that need to be met are as follows:

1) a scan of an official government ID, such as a passport or license

2) our logo will be sent to you, and you must have a picture taken with it and sent back so that we can maintain assurance that our security has not been compromised. Trophy
I have to go for now, the Mogwai’s got loose in the kitchen, and we have to try and catch them and club them on the head to render them helpless. Do you have Mogwai’s in your country? They are rare, but we usually pay between $5,000 and $8,000 per Mogwai, depending on the quality. A wild goose chase, perhaps?
Waiting to hear from you

———-

Ray Thull
Ray’s Crab Shack
“Come try The Schlong”

_____________________________

Feb 7

I have not heard back from you after I sent you the required information. Am I to assume that you do not want to go ahead with this business deal?

Where has he gone?
———-

Ray Thull
Ray’s Crab Shack
“Come try The Schlong”
———-

_____________________________

Feb 8

Dear Raynar Thull,

Infact I am happy the way you are writing mails to me. Before we forge ahead,can you just scan you personal picture like ID or your passports?

Koffi
___________________________
Feb 8

Dear Koffi,

Sure thing. I will try and send it later on today, as I am expecting some calls right now and am a little busy. While I’m waiting, why dont you go ahead and send me an ID as well. Keep in mind that my associates want OFFICIAL government ID’s, such as a passport or license of some sort.
___________________________

Feb 8

Dear Koffi John,

Am still waiting on your ID. Attached is my copy. Hope all is well there. Have a nice day.

———-

Ray Thull
Ray’s Crab Shack
“Come try The Schlong”

———-

passport.jpg

I attach my “passport” using Gary Busey as myself

_____________________________

Feb 9

Dear Raynar Thull,

I have confirmed your id which you attached to me.I can understand that you might be serious in this regards therefore,I shall get intouch with you after service by forwarding my id also to you.

But I would not hesitate to let you understand that I would not like to tarnish my image as well as my reputation here in the country at large these,are the main reason I did not enclose my details earlier as par your request as to confirm your position first before we forge ahead.

Obviously,I would like you to feel free to call me as soon as you confirm my id,these some information which I would like to pass to you +228-916-33-18.Do enclose your private no too for easy communication.

Remain blessed. How Sweet

_____________________________

Feb 9th

Dear Koffi John,

Glad to see that my id came through, my email and phone and fax have been acting up these past few days.

I also understand your need for privacy, and that is why I decided to send you my ID first.

Awaiting yours now.

———-

Ray Thull
Ray’s Crab Shack
“Come try The Schlong”
———-

_____________________________

Feb 9

I have come across some rules and regulations, and in order for me to be able to accept these funds, the following must be filled out. This is to insure that if I am audited, that I came into this money through legal mean. Please print and fill out and rescan as soon as possible.

I attach a fake PDF Homeland Security document, asking lots of personal and insane questions.
_____________________________

Feb 10

Dear Rey, Whats my name, beeyotch?

I am waiting for your fax line no as to enable me fax you the details as par your wish.Knowing fully well the position of this transaction.I would be expecting the no.

_____________________________

Feb 10

Dear Ray

My scaner has a little problem this the reason why you have not received the detail up till this time therefore,can you forward your personal fax number as to enable me sent it through fax?.

Theres an attached file sent by you which I could not be able to view.Can you also resent the attached file through JPG as to enable me open it here? I will wait for your quicker response.

Koffi

_____________________________

Feb 10th

Greetings again. The document I attached is a PDF file, which is supposed to be universal. It is the only version I have, so you will need to download the Adobe Reader, which you can get at www.adobe.com to open it. I will go ahead and attach it again, just in case it was corrupted.

_____________________________

Feb 13th
Dear Rey,
I have really tried to open the attached file no way. By the way,what is the content of the file,I am very worried to know the actual content of the file.

_____________________________

Feb 14th
It is a PDF file that is a questionairre that has to be filled out when receiving funds from overseas. It just makes the transaction legal, otherwise if I were audited, I could go to jail because the funds werent verified as non-terrorist type of activity.

Come on dude, just figure it out. Your Internet Cafe should have it installed, I would imagine. Guess they’re not up to date with PDF’s yet…something to know, since I can keep him running.

Later on that day…

_____________________________

Dear Rey,
Infact, I want you to understand that such thing is not necessary hence the funds is in our offshore affliate office in spain.Yes,the funds are not here in africa.
Gee, how convenient. I wonder where the “funds” could be. what you need here is all the necessary details related to the estate here as to enable you proceed with the firm in spain (EUROPE) to ensure a smooth and successful release in your favour.
You should understand that with my position here in the office,I do not want to tarnish my image as well as my reputation.Therefore,You should get back to me as to enable me give you all the details related to the estate.
I would be waiting for your response.

_____________________________

Feb 15th

Dear Rey, My name is RAY…RAY RAY RAY RAY RAY

Where are you? I miss you too, Koffi

Koffi

_____________________________

Feb 15th

Koffi,

Sorry about that, I was in Canada for a few days, acting on a Mogwai tip. I love Mogwai Have you had any luck finding them in your area?

Please send all the details required for the estate.

RAY Get my name right..jeez

_____________________________

Feb 20th

Dr. Koffi,

I have not heard from you in a few days. Is all well there?

___________________________________

Feb 21

Dear Rey.

I thank you for your mails received in good faith.I was hospitalised for few days now hence I was unable to respond to your your previous mail however,I would not hesitate to enclose the details as to enable you contact the firm in spain for immediate release of the estate in your favour.

Below are the details which you have to fill with your account information and forward to the remmitance office via spain.
Go through it and if there is any question do not hesitate to get back to me.

Regards,
Mr.Koffi

I guess “hospital=trying to scam someone else”. Damn him, making me wait. I guess its time to get a little “out there” and see what kind of response I get. I also still havent received any sort of photograph, so maybe a little threat can speed it along.

___________________________________

Feb 21

Dear Mr. Koffi,

I am sorry to hear about your hospitalization. I was almost sent to one while on safari in Canada, when a wild Mogwai attacked and bit me repeatedly on my taint. Luckily, it didnt have any diseases, and may have actually caught some from me, so all is well. Anyways, back to business.

Below is the information you requested. Please note that the spelling of my name is RAY, not REY. I only mention this because I do not want any delays in this transaction.

Of course I dont want any delay. I want my money! SHOW ME THE MONEY!

Guess what? I have decided to buy a boat, since I will soon have all of this extra money. I’ve attached a picture for you to see. What should I name it?
boat.jpg

I have not heard back from you on the Mogwai. Have you had any luck finding them? I am also attaching a picture of one that I have kept for a pet, so that you might see what they look like. Look for them near pickles, as they seem to have this animalistic craving for them.

mogwai.jpg

I do have some bad news, however. My associates are threatening to take me off of this deal, since I do not have any ID for you. In my own eagerness, I forgot to remind you about it, so I do not blame you. I would not like that to happen, so please send me a scan of your ID as soon as possible. Otherwise, they will shut this operation down.

Hopefully, this will be enough to get him going on the ID. If not, it will be time to turn on “crazy dickhead” mode.

Waiting to hear from you,

———-
Ray Thull
Ray’s Crab Shack
“Come try The Schlong”

————————————-

This is the form I filled out and sent back to him. See if you can spot the “419? reference, as well as the word “Shithead”. I’m betting he wont be able to.

Attn: Mr.P.M. Passarinho.

I mister ray thull, a relative to Mr. Mark Billings,the initial depositor of the $11.5 m usd deposited in UTD LOME-TOGO. I have been notified that my inherited funds are in your office via spain therefore,I would advise your firm to transfer the above mentioned funds to my details below.

BANK NAME - First National Bank and Trust, Theeves Division
BANK ACCOUNT NO - 057813458SH1TH3AD4198700-S
BANK ADDRESS - 428 Fupa Drive
SWIFT CODE - A93J12LK39341902K3
BENEFICIARY - Raymond Thull

Sir, your urgent attention towards this matter would be highly appreciated.

Sincerely,

Ray Thull

________________________________________

Feb 24th

Ray,
I thank you for your mails in which you attached your product.I am highly interested to know how far you have gone with the firm in spain.You should understand that there must be a times we may talk about your so called “Mogawi’ and so on.
The id shall be forwarded to you as soon as possible
Mr.Koffi

Is he on the lookout for my Mogwai? YES!
__________________________________________________________

Feb 24th

Dear Koffi,

I sent the information to the bank, but have not heard back from them. Are they always so slow?

Actually, I dont remember if I heard from them or not. Doesnt matter to me.

_____________________________________________________

He starts to get anxious…

Feb 25th
Dear Ray,
Can you re-send it again to them? meanwhile,they can not receive such a message without responding to you hence,I suggest that you should send it once again.
Waiting for your response
______________________________________________________
Feb 25th
Just sent it again. b
Ray
___________________________________________________
Ah, the plot thickens…
Feb 27th
Dear Ray,
Whatever they said in response,do not hesitate to let me know ok
______________________________________________________
Feb 27th
Still havent heard anything from the bank. I hope they are not trying to rob me, as I have a team of mercenaries ready to deploy if I detect any kind of tomfoolery.
Ray
Deploy, Power Rangers!
________________________________________________________
Feb 28th

Dear Ray,
I do not know why you have not heard from the firm after the mails you have send to them.Can I contact them and ask them about that? I can not believe that such firm will received your message without given a respond to you.
_________________________________________________
Feb 28th
Dear Koffi,Yes, I am very dissapointed with their performance. I sent them the required paperwork, and now they have disappeared. I am thinking of closing this deal, since I feel I might have been duped by them. Do you know these shitheads very well? Gee, I wonder.

Ray Thull
Ray’s Crab Shack
“Come try The Schlong”

_____________________________________

Feb 28th

Dear Ray,

I would contact the firm tomorrow and will keep you posted

Koffi

_____________________________________

Feb 28th

Ok. Try hitting them in the teeth. That works on my wife when she gets mouthy.

———–
Ray Thull
Ray’s Crab Shack
“Come try The Schlong”

_______________________________________________

I just noticed I STILL havent received any pictures…

March 1st

Dear Koffi,

I am still waiting on your official ID as well. Please hurry the hell up, I’m ready to head to Tahiti and look at boobies with my money.

Ray Thull
Ray’s Crab Shack
“Come try The Schlong”

_______________________________________________

March 3rd

Dear Ray,

The firm has not confirmed your mail could you believe that? I do not know but just relax let’s see if them mail you sent to them was through or not.
Yes,we would forge ahead if the get intouch with you as regards to your mails to them.
Remain blessed as….
Surprise surprise. Could it be I never sent the documents? Oh well, doesn’t keep me from getting pissed…
_____________________________________________
March 3rd
Well goddamn it. I need this money NOW. Tell them little shits to get their head out of their ass. I have sent them the required documents, and now they seem to be dicking around. I have bought my boat, and now they want their money. If they do not hurry up, I will have to cancel this transaction and flee the country. Can I come stay with you if I need to?
I love you Koffi.
Also, send your ID for our records, the bosses are becoming a pain in the ass.
Ray Thull
Ray’s Crab Shack
“Come try The Schlong”
____________________________________________March 3rdDearest Ray,

I am too old as to partake of a pupils warm-up.I have reached the firm in spain as to confirm how far you have gone with them but all resulted zero.I can now understand the position of things however,some one has to be contacted by side as to forge ahead for this very project while we continue communicating through mail daily.

My regards to you and your family.

Koffi

So he is getting mad now, is he on to me?
__________________________________________________

March 5th

A pupils warm up?!! How dare you! Need I remind you that I am a succesful businessman running my only multi-million dollar company? I do not need this atitude from you. Remember, YOU are the one who came looking for ME, not the other way around.

I tell you what Koffi. Since you seem to be treating me so poorly, and this bank that you are working with is incompetent, I’m calling the whole deal off. How does that sound? Does the loss of millions of dollars sound nice to you? Whereas you need someone so you can access them, I have my own millions.

I fake pistivity, and “cancel” the deal. Usually this changes their attitude and they come back.

______________________________________________

March 6th

Ray,

You should understand that you have never been serious in this transaction right from the onset.I contacted the firm in spain as to know if you have reach them or not. But you know the trueth.You did not contact them was the result. I am really interest for doing the business with you if….

Koffi

Ahh, see how he lets it trail off, so he’s not totally gone. But for now, I dont care, I’ll let him stew after I reply.
___________________________________________

March 6th

Koffi,

Go away. You have insulted me by saying that I have never contacted the firm. Maybe you should deal with more reputable business partners. I will not be treated this way, especially when YOU contacted ME for assistance. I have began to cancel all paperwork dealing with this transaction.

Ray

__________________________________________

March 6th

Ray,

I have never insulted you in any way.I just treid to let you know that the firm has never been contacted by you.Infact I am much worried as you can see that nothing has been done uptil this time.

Koffi

__________________________________________

And he’s back…
March 6th

Koffi,

Maybe we should try a different bank then. Debt collectors are starting to ask for their money, and what am I supposed to tell them? “Sorry, my incompetent partner cant find a decent bank?”

Lets find someone else to handle this.

Also, I am STILL awaiting your ID.

Ray Thull
Ray’s Crab Shack
Our slogan: “Its better to have crabs on your piano, than lobsters on your organ!”

____________________________________________

March 7th

Dear Raynar,

I thank you for your mail. Note that a ball placed on a table remens stable if the surposed person could not be able to pick it up. Sending you my details does not mean anything to me but can you contact the firm about this funds and give me a feed back? Look,I confided on you as to champion this transaction.

Koffi

What is this crap? Is he trying to get all smart with me? Well, two can play that game...

____________________________________________

March 7th

I'm not sure I quite follow what you mean by "a ball on the table remains stable if its able". Are we doing childrens nursery rhymes here?

Dumbshit.

I am requiring your details because my associates who are helping me insist on it. I am out-voted here, and have no choice in the matter. Without it, this transaction will not continue.

Plus, I need a trophy. This has gone on long enough.

I will try and contact the firm again. I dont know what you expect to be different, they seem to have disappeared. I mean, you could put your head up a bull's ass to check out the steak, but wouldnt you rather take the butchers word for it?

Thanks to Chris Farley in "Tommy Boy" for that one.

Ray Thull
Ray's Crab Shack
"Its better to have crabs on your piano, than lobsters on your organ!"

___________________________________________

March 7th

Ray,

I thank you for telling me that you were told not be involved if that is the case,we have to stop. But I believe that we have gone to an epic stage through mail. At my age,I always like to be straight on whatever am doing. Tomorrow,I would send my personal bank details as well as the ID for your perusal. Though you might be playing games on me but I will just do what I have said.

Ahh, finally, victory shall be mine.
___________________________________________

March 7th

Thank you for your email. I will inform my associates so they will stop asking me. Hopefully they will leave me alone, as they come by and ask every couple of hours if I have received it yet.

Ray

_____________________________________________

March 8th

Dear Ray,

I have received your mail. Like I told you,find below my personal bank account information,My scanner is having problem therefore,I shall go out to a business center after work to scan you the id.


NAME OF BANK: ECO-BANK .
COUNTRY: LOME-TOGO.
DESTINTION: LOME-TOGO WEST AFRICA.
SWIFT CODE: COCTGTG .
IBAN NUMBER: Ecok.TGTG205324602012
ACCOUNT NUMBER: 205324602012.
ACCOUNT NAME: KOFFI JOHN OKOH

My share of the funds has to be paid into my account as soon as you retrieved the funds from spain.


Regards,

Koffi

Sure thing Koffi, as soon as I get my trophy, I'll be sure to send you my banking details.

_____________________________________________

March 8th


Dear Koffi,

Thank you for your information, it will go in my binder that I have labeled "My friend Koffi". Below is my information for your records. I will send along my banking details after your passport comes through.

All hail Mogwai,

Ray Thull
Ray's Crab Shack
"Come try The Schlong"

Welp, he gets nothing till I get my trophy.

___________________________________

March 27th

Dear Raynar ,

Dear friend since I 've keep waiting to hear from you I, have deciead that you are not seriours in this transacion meanwhile, i will now start to look for another person who will help me out of this transaction right from now please don't mind or forgeting about what we said i will give to you 5% After the transaction has don't ok.

Waiting to hear from you before i will look for the next person.

Dr.Koffi.

Hmm, seems he might start to be on to me. Time for a small slap. If I get nothing back then its off to fwapping him.

________________________________

Mar 28th

Good luck. You are the one who is not serious. If you'll note in my email dated March 6th, I am STILL awaiting your ID. For someone who is supposed to have access to large amounts of money, you sure have a hard time finding a scanner.

I will go ahead and begin closing my accounts I opened for this transaction, along with the cash I had put aside.

Good luck with finding someone else, maybe they can put up with your incompetence.

1 Comments:

  • At Wednesday, March 08, 2006 5:17:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Dude, you crack me up! LOL I just stumbled onto your blog by accident and am glad I did! Rock on and keep on scamming the scammers!

     

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home